Questions and Misconceptions About the Bride's Room...

When it comes to the bride's room, many brides have questions and sometimes there are misconceptions. But are they misconceptions or differences of opinion from one bride to another? We are going to explore some of these questions and misconceptions and hopefully have a better understanding about what a bride's room is and isn't. Let's begin!

1. A bride's room is only for the bride.

This is a misconception. A bride's room can be only for the bride if that's how the bride chooses to use it. However, in most cases the bride's room is for the bride and her bridal party. There are differences of opinion as to who exactly makes up the bridal party. Some bride's only refer to their bridal party as being herself, her maid of honor and her bridesmaids. Other brides consider junior bridesmaids and flower girls as part of their bridal party. Ultimately the bride decides how she wants to use her bridal suite.

2. Is the bridal party the only ones allowed in the bride's room?

This is a good question that goes hand in hand with the misconception that the bride's room is only for the bride. Typically the bride's room is for the bride and whoever she considers her bridal party. But in addition to this it's not uncommon for the mother of the bridal to also get ready in the bride's room alongside her daughter. Sisters are usually included as well if they are not part of the bridal party. Sometimes grandmothers are also invited. One person who is often overlooked is the mother of the groom. If the bride is comfortable around her fiance's mother, then the polite thing to do would be to invite his mother join the ladies in the bride's room. In the end, it's up to the bride to decide who is comfortable with having in her bridal suite.

3. A bridal suite should be in a hotel.

This is a misconception. While some bridal suites are in the bride's actual hotel room, this usually is not the case unless the hotel serves as the venue for the wedding or the wedding is an elopement. In both cases there may not be another option for a bride's room. When a bride is getting married in the city in which she resides, or nearby, usually the bride's room is at the venue or church where she is getting married. It also makes more sense to have the bride's room on location of where the wedding is taking place. This prevents dresses from getting wrinkled from siting in the car and also gives the bridal party a private space to touch up makeup between events, as well as have a place to secure her belongings.

4. Do the decorations in the bride's room have to match the color scheme and them of the wedding?

While some bride's may like the decorations to match the theme of her wedding, they don't have to. The bridal suite can be a completely different theme and a completely different color scheme. Quite often the bride's room is decorated in a way that is a reflection to who the bride is, whereas the wedding is a reflection of who the bride and groom are as a couple.

5. The bridal suite should be decorated by the bridesmaids and be a surprise to the bride on her wedding day.

Some brides may want to be surprised and leave the decorating of the bridal suite completely up to her bridal party. However, most brides take an active part in planning their bride's room and the detail that will go into it. In the end, it's up to the bride to decide whether or not she wants to plan the decor of the bridal suite or let her bridesmaids be in charge.

6. Bride's room should be peaceful and serene.

Some brides like a peaceful and serene brides room as she prepares for her special day, and this is totally fine. Some brides enjoy this time to relax and reflect on her engagement as she prepares to say "I do". Another bride may take a more laid back approach with music and laughter in her bridal suite. There are no rules when it comes to the ambience of the bridal suite. Ultimately it's up to the bride as to what kind of atmosphere she wants as she's getting ready for her wedding. My only suggest would be to keep it as stress free as possible. Weddings are a big deal and when unneeded stress is added to the room it can invoke other issues.

7. Guests should not be allowed in the bride's room.

While some experts may say it's rude to ask guests not to go into the bride's room, I disagree. The bridal suite should be a private space that is off limits to guests including extended family. Congratulating the bride and groom can take place after the wedding ceremony and not while the bride is trying to prepare to walk down the aisle. It is not rude to ask a guest to leave, nor is it rude to post a "Do Not Disturb" sign on the door.

8. Is it ok to have a bride's room if the groom does not want a groom's room for the groomsmen?

This is a great question. My answer is absolutely. While the groom and groomsmen prepare for a wedding, not quite as much preparation goes into getting ready for the wedding as what does for the bride. And that's ok. Sometimes the groom prepares just as much as the bride. But whether or not the groom wants a room is his choice and it shouldn't make the bride feel guilty about wanting her own personal space if he doesn't want that for his party. The bride should do what works best for her and the groom should do what works best for him.

9. It can be stressful having the flower girl in the bride's room.

I don't think this is a misconception and I agree that entertaining young children when you're trying to get ready for a big occasion can be stressful. Unless it's a flower girl or a junior bridesmaid children should not be in the bridal suite. in addition my advice would be to have the flower girl arrive 60 to 90 minutes before the ceremony. This way she hasn't spent all day in the bride's room and is less likely to get fussy. However, she should be allowed in the bride's room prior to the ceremony so that she feels comfortable with the bridesmaids and bride as she also prepares to walk down the aisle. If the flower girl needs to be in the bridal suite the entire time, maybe set up a coloring table and assign a junior bridesmaid to attend to the flower girl. This will help relieve some of the stress for the bride. 

10. It's wrong to ask the photographer for certain pictures in the bride's room.

I would have to disagree with this one. The bride is paying for the photographer and should be able to ask for certain shots of herself and her bridal party, as well as of her dress, shoes, jewelry, bouquet and all of the tiny details that are part of her special moment. The bride will hopefully only do this once. The bride should however be respectful of the photographer's opinion. The photographer is the expert and knows whether or not the lighting will work or if the angle might not work. But the bride should not be afraid to address her concerns with the photographer.